Pity vs. Compassion

Acts of pity prevent real compassion from arising within the heart. Why? Because pity stems from judgement and superiority, and compassion can never flow from these sources. Why? Because “compassion”, com(with) passion(feeling), means to “feel with”, not to “feel for”. When we “feel for” we have already separated ourselves from the target of our pity. We “feel bad for” them, and we act from this place of superiority, this prevents com-passion “feeling with”.

To pity, to “feel for” is a sure sign of operating within a self-delusion. Before pity is felt, judging oneself to be in a superior state is required, thus in pity we try to better the one in an inferior situation.

Compassion flows naturally from non-judgement. Judgement (calculation) requires a “cutting up” of reality and pasting it back together in a manner that the “judge” deems suitable. Thus the judgement and calculation required to bring about pity, cut off the possibility of compassion arising within the heart. Compassion is something we allow ourselves to experience. Pity is socially acceptable and a ego-protecting substitute for compassion in our society. Pity can naturally and comfortably survive within the rat race because it plays by the rules of judgement and calculation and labelling of superiors and inferiors.

In short, compassion can be experienced by letting go of calculations and judgements. Pity is created by those same calculations and judgements. These calculations lead to the delusion that the pitier is in a superior state to the one being pitied.

Ever wonder why that homeless person you offer charity to doesn’t express the gratitude you would expect for your good deed? Everyone hates to be pitied. Pity is a form of condemnation, and it is clearly felt by the receiver.

Compassion, on the other hand, is a state to enter into. It levels the playing field. It costs a lot more than the spare change in our pocket. It costs us our sense of superiority, it costs us the status we have earned in life by “good decision making”, or whatever causes us to feel superior to others in any given scenario.

Jesus condemns judgement period. Not just judgements of what is “bad”, but also judgements about what is “good”. Jesus calls us to enter into compassion with those around us. To be weak with the weak. To humble ourselves before God. More than anything else, it is our delusions of superiority that harm those we deem “inferior” in some way. For healing to happen, we must cut through the illusions we continually create with all our calculations and judgements.